| Lewie JPD |
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How can I be of service?
Eventually, eventually, this is the question you will come to ask yourself. For there is no greater reward than giving.
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 There is so much stuff out there to fill our minds and distract us. I was talking to an aspiring young writer today and he was saying how challenging he finds it to concentrate on his writing with facebook and youtube just one click away. It made me feel glad that when I was his age all my writing was done with a pen into a notebook. If some of it was good it would get transcribed with a typewriter. If I made mistakes I would use white out, or for bigger ones, rip out the sheet of page (it wasn't even called A4 - just paper) and START AGAIN!
There was no button to click or mouse or anyway to suddenly start watching entertaining clips. If you were desperate you could get up turn on the tele and rotate a clunky dial to one of four channels to watch some dreadful and extremely limited daytime TV options. Probably why people wrote betterer back then. Alternatively, you'd just get stoned and think about how great things are - before getting the munchies. When in the day you get FRESH thoughts? How often and for how long? When I say fresh, I mean original; emanating from your own series of thoughts - culminating in a spark that is new to the world. We spend a lot of time worrying about shit - past, present and future. We also spend a lot of time thinking about satisfying our animal instincts. Then, we spend a lot of time absorbing things thrust upon us through TV, film and the internet. How much time is left for thinking our own stuff in a day? Not much. I like to try and get in a good chunk of fresh thought creation every day. This requires alone time, preferably in nature. Walking, at the beach, sitting watching life pass by.... that kind of thing. It's most enjoyable and the more you do it, the more you like it. Forgive me if I'm going to far, but, I daresay, fresh thoughts are the new sex. 
I've always had a very busy mind. Sometimes too busy. I try to quieten it with activities, distractions, exercise and sleep with varying degrees of success. Of course, making art is a great queller.
When I was younger, I would very easily be distracted by women. What a glorious distraction they are! I was able to keep myself busy running around chasing them, trying to escape them and making whoopee with them in all it's wonderful varieties, sexual and otherwise. These days I have quietened down somewhat. I'm not a young buck anymore and although the interest from my side has only waned to a degree the interest from the fairer sex has diminished substantially. A woman in her thirties is going to want a man in his thirties. Same for forties - it's only natural. Guys who are fifty plus can still be of interest but they need money, status or power. Personality alone will not get you across the line like it did decades ago. I have accepted this truth and focus my energy on generally enjoying life, nature, relationships without the constant sex drive. In some ways it's a relief. My mind, too, has quietened down to a manageable level. I remember in my 20's and 30's it was at times like a wild horse. I was worried. I got did anxiety management courses, saw counsellors, did therapy, yoga. It all helped. There were some times I doubted I would get this far. Now that I am here I feel happy to have survived. I've seen and done plenty. Now it's time to concentrate on creative output. I have been an artist, writer and performer for over thirty years. It's who I am. I embrace it fully now and seek to use the wisdom and experience to create work that will exhilarate and delight. I want to reach my potential as a creator, fulfill my ambitions as an artist. Make the sort of stuff that I always dreamed of seeing - on a wall, in the cinema and in books and comics. The apprentice  (You don't want to become one!)
How to avoid? Try not to get captured in the first place Do this by: Laughing a lot, staring truth in the eye If you are captured, struggle to escape: Dig a tunnel in the night Join forces with others - they can help Friends and family are your allies Talk your way to freedom Share what is inside of you that troubles Search and find, invest in love and goodness Be nice to people, play with kids, spend time in nature Exercise more than normal Read books of quality, read comics, too Be creative - anything expressive - release Do not become A prisoner of yourself 
Where were you?
When I called out for you? When I searched high and low? When I was thoroughly alone? When I needed you most? Where were you? When it was time to stand up? When the wolves were at the door? When hope left and never returned? When my sobs stopped and my tears burned? Where were you? Were were you? And where are you now? Not here, that's for sure. Dead and forgotten. Like you never even were.  Found these old chestnuts in a box this morning. Six of my zines from the 90's. Used to love making them. Contents included poems, comics, short stories, funny lists and monologues. I used to print about 200 copies of each and hand them out for free. Altogether did about 45 different issues. The first and longest running title was 'Free Spirit'. In 2001, I compiled the best of the written work into a published book, 'All I Ever Wanted Is What I Know I Can Never Have.' It was a limited run of 500. All gone now.
Zines were a pre internet blog, I guess. Now I just got this. Press post, upload a pic. Full colour, published immediately. I have seen the future and I like it!  I know all the tricks
I know all the tricks The ones with leaves And the ones with sticks When to break And what to fix Where to hide How to get out quick Who gets fried And who gets kicks How to get those stains Out of satin sheets When to beat that drum When to take your licks Say what you want But it don't mean shit cause I know all the tricks I know all the tricks  It's good to be really excited about things! In the grammar of life exclamation marks hold an important place! They say young writers tend to over use them, abuse them, as they likely do their genitalia. But this is not a bad thing. It is natural. The younger you are the more excited you tend to get about things. What you don't know when you are young is that when you get older there are less things that make you excited - and we are no longer talking sexual here. We are talking general.
Things that stimulate and engage still occur and can be discovered, of course, but they are less frequent. It's like the saying that was so popular at the end of last century: BTDT. (I can't bring myself to typing out the actual words - it's not a phrase I never used or liked. It certainly did not excite me. Not like some phrases, such as the 70's classic - 'Keep on Truckin' often accompanied by the wonderful Robert Crumb illustration.) Whatchu talkin' about, Willis?! I guess I'm saying to anybody young - enjoy getting excited about stuff - and doing new and heart fluttering things. Life is stimulating in other ways as you age - but it is never as eye-poppingly vibrant as it is in the first few semesters. 
Amazing organisms.
We are. A collection of atoms. Out far. Incredible coincidence. We live. Infinite experience. Received. Expanding consciousness. The flow. Everything and nothing. We know. Saturation and surrender. Begins. Eternity remembered. We're skinz. 
I took this picture down the bottom of Crown St in Woolloomooloo yesterday after a coffee at Toby's Estate. It was a beautiful sunny sunday and a big tree was casting a grand shadow on the building.
To make the collage I added the hand and the other two elements and some shapes and colouring. Taking an existing image of simple beauty sanpped along the way of my daily travels and making it into something dynamic and different is one of my daily pursuits and thrills. All done on my Samsung Galaxy Note with a pared down PS program and a stylus. I sit there in a cafe, at the library or in my car having a wonderful time doing my small bit to transform reality.  Come on! You're just sitting there. How can that be good for us? It's been hours! Who told you that this was a good idea in the first place? Not me. You didn't get my vote. I said we should go sailing or play Tomb Raider on Play Station! Don't you feel like a strawberry milkshake right now! Our legs are cramped! Just get up for a quick stretch! We're missing 'Australia's Got Talent!' Damnit! Are you listening to me?! You think you're a swami or something?! I'm not going to shut up! You can't make me! Hey! What about that chick over there in the corner?! She'd be pretty nice under those robes! Imagine! Did you turn off the car lights when you parked? I'm hungry! You need to piss! What's that humming sound? Let's lie back for a second! I'm not going to agree to that dumb chanting at the end! No way! Hey! Come on! This is enough! I want to go! Listen to me!!!
 Where have you been, my friend?
In a room, in a house other than your own? On a hill in a dream, standing all alone? Walking down a hallway to take your punishment sweet? In a bar with the business doing meet and greets? Up a tree as a child, hovering above eternity? In a tunnel, an escape, running, tears a burning thee? On a cloud with a clown, telling funny stories? Wrestling with a landlord on the murky floor of incivility? Bloodied and bruised, disabused of the idea That we can choose? Or covered in oil, purring, writhing as hands of a beauty Knead thee to carnal ecstasy? Fasting? Forgetting? Concept jamming? Slicing? Sweating? Social scamming? Do you still know who you are? What you are doing? Does it matter? Above the chatter can you hear me? Can you hear me? Tell me, where have you been, my friend? 
Not sure why I am saying 'Wow!'
I just couldn't think of anything else to say. Wow is a good word like that. It has inbuilt excitement. I much prefer it to it's more contemporary replacement 'OMG!' Wow is classic. Wow has wow factor. Even dogs use it - as the second half of their common exclamations. It's gotta to be good if dog's endorse it. Think of ball chasing. How great is that?! And slobbering. Dog's have inbuilt barometers for what is good. I love them.  What would happen if I didn't have this forum to write my thoughts in? I would probably still think them but maybe not take the thought train as far as I do in each instance. Writing stuff allows you to record then move on to the next thought without getting a cluster or having a mental train pile up.
If I didn't write this stuff, I would not be able to reread it later. Not that I do - but I could and likely, one day, will. Also, if I didn't write this stuff, nobody else would read it. So, there would be no effect on anyone else's thoughts. Which makes me think - what would take it's place. I hope nobody is sacrificing or missing out on anything more worthwhile by reading these posts.... like having sex or doing the crazy dance or conjuring up a brilliant idea of their own. I hope I am not sabotaging important minutes of anybody's life with my experimental, stream of consciousness, cheaper than a psychiatrist, bla-di-bla ramblings. If I am, I apologise. In advance and profusely. How dare I right? You need help! Should I shut up now? I can't. Sorry. The UN and WHO charters state that every world citizen on w.w.w is entitled to a blog - gratis - - in which they can express their thoughts and feelings freely and without censorship - or guilt. One thing I like to do in the mornings when I wake up is just to lie there for a while and think things. Let thoughts dance across the horizon of my sunrising awareness. Their shadowy movements sometimes delight and sometimes uncover or inspire thoughts that will be creative and useful. Things commonly referred to as 'good ideas'. Things I can do that day maybe, things I can write down to do another time, things that I can mentally note to think about some more later - i.e next time I am lying down doing nothing - probably not long to go! Each day I like to think about what I have to feel grateful for. My health, my freedom, relative safety and comfort, something to look forward to coming up, etc. By acknowledging what is good and being thankful, I find that I can feel more accepting of life's general anguish, less expectant or needing, available to take things as they come and make the best of the day ahead - not in a self-help/upbeat way - but in a casual/shrug way. There is so much clutter and chaos in daily life, it's important to have quiet, alone-time to just be. No input from the outside world, just some serene, relaxed contemplation. Just being. Acknowledging the wonder of basic existence. Then, get up, do a wee (if you need to - don't force it! - bladder implosions are painful!) - and the - blog some bullshit of your own! It's your right! Shhhhh.....! |
ART GETS ME HIGH
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