Caveman Preacher

I can't talk for everyone. I can only talk for myself. But, ironically, it seems the more accurately and honestly I talk for myself the more it is aligned with everyone.

Make sense? 

I come to this forum and communicate here without schedule or external motivation. It happens when it does. Sometimes I wish I was here more often - because, frankly, there is never a lack of things to express/explore - but I have reasons for not making the effort. Sometimes I am just too lazy. I mean it does take a level of discipline and application. It is an effort to access, assess and describe what is going on in my head, in my being. It is often interesting for me to see what comes out - to read where I am at, so to speak - but it still requires some dredging, concentration and motivation. Not doing it is so, so easy. Having said that, I have been recording my state of mind/spirit/heart regularly in journals since I was fifteen. All the way through. The bulk of it has never seen the light of day, which is as it should be because it is primarily done to inform and enlighten (and lighten) myself.

It's only in the last few years that I have been opening up (as it were) to other inhabitants of the same planet in the belief that somehow by sharing my individual truth in a straightforward and unedited manner like this may be beneficial to others. I don't know who or how but if it has a positive effect in any way, lessens the burden or brings a smile to even one person, then it's worth doing. Because sharing is caring. LOL. Cliche. But true. And I do care. I really do. I have always been empathetic, sometimes at a cost  to my own well being, but it's a good thing, not a bad thing. We're all bits of the same big one. LOL again! That statement reads like the first words of a sermon by a caveman preacher. Which is perhaps, something I would have been OK with back in the day. Way back.

Interestingly, my paternal grandfather, for a time, was a preacher and used to speak his truth on the streets of Kings Cross. I think it was somewhere after his divorce and just before his playboy phase. He died in a fiery Ferrari crash in Europe, loose ends - financial and emotional left scattered back home in Aus. A dramatic departure but quite fracturing to his family. He left a big gap - he was quite the big man, self made multimillionaire, friends with Billy Graham and Shirley Bassey, a dandy dresser with a hefty appetite, a big tipper (a good thing), and a showman. I didn't know him very well. I was only nine when he left. My single strongest memory of him is him taking my Mum, me and my brothers out to lunch in our first ever fancy restaurant in 1969 Sydney, then taking us to a toy shop in town and saying 'Whatever you want, boys; on me!' How could I forget him! (I went straight to the bicycles but my Mum though it too extravagant - so I settled for a game of Twister. Harumphhh!) Didn't really get my money's worth till I played it semi naked with the girl next door. (And then it was like riding a bicycle.)

So, yeah, caveman preacher. I reckon way back in the day, in an earlier incarnation (yes, I do believe in reincarnation) (have done since a few lives back), I would have been comfortable in the role of observer/overseer/speaker of truth. Got a bit of shaman in me. Wise man. Pass the pipe. Come hang out and we'll have a yarn about what's bothering you. Yes, those fucking dinosaurs! I know. Life in general isn't easy when you are a hunter and gatherer - on a physical level - but it isn't smooth sailing when you are spiritual journey cognoscente, either. But, hey, I am not complaining. (Cause I know complaining is a waste of time. Early lesson.)

But yeah, like I was saying it's not always easy to write this stuff. Admittedly, this one has been and rather fun, but, but... my point? Who cares! It is what it is. Life is full of contradictions. The point is to find what you like and are at least semi-good at and go for it. Don't think too much. If you can find something worth doing - do it. We all have to do something - even if it's slacking off most of the time and then writing a few words of lighthearted drivel once in a while and considering it meaningful. Even if it's that! You could have my job, eh. Then I could retire from sermonising altogether and commence my next phase: rich playboy. Sounds like a plan.