To be honest, I don't feel the need to say anything a lot of the time. There is so much out there, so much already said, so much chatter, so much wonderful, lucid, erudite pontification on every conceivable subject, I think: why bother? Why take up the airspace, the time and energy - of my own and of the reader(s)(perchance there is more than one) when it could be spent more rewardingly. 

Let's say you are sitting in an alcove, outside a closed bakery, playing your recorder. Let's imagine you are fooling around with some new sounds and sequences, at the early stages of composing a new tune perhaps. Let's imagine that you are taking your time, enjoying yourself. Maybe there's a hat there, in front of you with a few coins in. Or maybe not. Anyway, next thing you know a fully fledged marching band comes around the corner and heads up the street you are on. They are practiced and co-ordinated, they fill the air with their syncopated music.

Are you still going to sit there, squeezing out your squeaky little song? No one can hear you - but that isn't really the point... You can no longer really hear yourself. It is definitely not so enjoyable anymore. Why bother, right? Why compete. You put your shiny stick with holes into it's elongated, purple velvet, draw string sack and move on. You might stay a moment and watch and hear the spectacle with everyone else - or maybe not - it's really not your thing.

You walk to the edge of town. Into the trees. You wander. You come across a stream. It is calming. You sit on a nearby rock, dangle your feet in the soothing water. Rays of sunshine penetrate the canopy, glisten in the water. Nature surrounds you. You inhabit it and, for a time, are one with it. 
You consider pulling out your recorder again and having a play. But somehow it seems superfluous. You are encompassed in a serene perfection. Just being there is enough. Time passes.

You get up, walk some more, absorb the gentle, glorious nature. You feel calm and content. 

Eventually, it is time to leave, to head back home. You walk out of the bush, back to civilisation. Then, you remember. You don't have a home. You are homeless. You grab a cardboard box on the way back to the alcove. It is starting to get dark, people are scarce, there's a chill in the air. You take your seat on the door step, bum on the cardboard. It's going to be a long night. You take out your recorder slowly, thoughtfully. You begin to play. It sounds lovely.

People sometimes comment about how busy my paintings are. I was scrolling through fb today and I saw a photo by my Japanese friend, Naoki. It's a recent shot of a street scene from Shinjuku.

This afternoon I went for a swim at Crowdy Head beach, a stop-off on my drive home to Mullumbimby from Sydney. There were five people on the beach. The rest was all sea and sky. There were no straight lines, no graphics, no complex dynamics, no visual assault on the senses. It was serenity. Nature.

Tokyo on the other hand - the place I grew up - is the opposite. It is a never ending series of visual explosions. I loved being there - riding my motorbike through the labyrinth of controlled madness, shuffling through the side streets on my way from one game centre to another... it was a wild ride. One that lasted 14 years. 

One of the legacies of my childhood is what comes out in my paintings. I don't try to complicate them. In fact, they are in a way a simplification, a toning down of what is going on in my mind's eye. When I saw Naoki's photo, especially after having spent time at a deserted beach a few hours earlier, it really hit home as to the origins of my painting style. Zany characters, boisterous colours, rich black calligraphic lines; I'm a true blue Aussie in spirit, but my landscape inspiration is clearly all urban Japan.

NB. If you want to see more of Naoki's incredible shots go to Categories in the side bar and click on Shibuya. There's a link there. 

It's night time. 
Close to midnight.
It's raining outside.
I'm in Mullumbimby.
Outside my bedroom window is thick and wild vegetation.
It smells good in the rain.
And the sound is pleasant, too.
Comforting, evocative, rhythmical.

I sit down to tap out a message about 
I don't know what.
It feels like the right thing to do.
Knock on the door of my psyche - rap, rap, rap - and see if I get a response.

Maybe while I am waiting I will hum a song in my head.
Nothing recognisable. A generic tune. 
Maybe in the back of my mind I will be thinking about the day I had. 
Maybe I'll be thinking of my next meal.
Maybe I'll be thinking about an ex girlfriend or an encounter overseas from years ago.

I don't know. 
How much attention should I pay to what I may be thinking while I am waiting for fresh thoughts to appear.
Maybe I shouldn't be watching.
Maybe I should let go.

When I go on my beach walks, sometimes I just count quietly in my head. One, two, three.... up to three or four hundred then start again.
I look at the sky, the clouds, the waves, the light, the sand, the scenery...
I mildly attempt to be present as much as I can.
Sometimes I am aware that I am thinking about things that are of concern at the time. Worries, consternations.
I try to sort them, placate them, step aside from them like a deft martial artist and let them fall behind me.
I breathe in the clean, bolstering air.
I feel the vast openness.
I tell myself I am lucky.
I am lucky to be walking on this magnificent, scarcely habituated shore. 
I walk on and on, further and further until there is no one else. 
Even any other walkers have turned back.
Now I know I am lucky.
I am alone with nature.
Nature is big.
Nature is powerful.
Nature can mend.

It feels healthy to propel myself forward, mind emptying.
I sometimes get ideas.
I sometimes see things more clearly.
I am bolstered.
I am spending this part of my life - this hour or so each day -doing this simple thing that nourishes so much.
It is simple.
It is free.
It is an investment, a parlay with life itself, a small adventure, an interaction between mind, body, soul and the universe.
It is being.
Basic.

It does take effort but the payoff is great.
I cherish it.
I am lucky! I know it.
I am friends with the earth.
I am living on this planet.

A quiet man with a busy mind, that has been lulled into a state of blissful surrender, nurtured by nature, uplifted by a majestic, timeless magic, sandwiched between a limitless sky and a sandy crust, moistened and energised by a dynamic, relentless shush of timeless waves.

There is nary a better feeling.

I am grateful. 

Grateful, grateful.

How much to get involved with one's own destiny?
To follow the path of least resistance or pick a high road to the peak and ascend at risk, unrelenting?
Perhaps a mixture of both.
So many factors go into our chosen course of action at any given time.
As you get older, you ask youself ' 'is this worth the effort?' and 'what is the payoff for the time/energy investment here?' Experience is a good teacher and one learns that not everything is worth pursuing.
At the same time, one does not want to become jaded or disillusioned. There needs to be magic. Chance taking. Impulse following.
But all to what end? Ultimately - none of course. We disappear suddenly and leave behind nothing but fading stories. 

I read a quote yesteday by Pema Chodron: 'Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment.'

I like it. Takes away the burden of over thinking, over extending, excessive anticipation and expectation. It is in line with my personal life view: go with the flow. Why rush when we are all just running around in circles anyway?

That being said, life is at it's best when you are on a mission, collaborating (at work or play) with other like minded people you respect. Some things are worth doing. And sometimes you don't realise it until you have already started and travelled along an uncertain path for a while.

It's a balance. Staying positive and open to any possibilities of growth or goodness but not being pulled into shallow reward activities that come from murky motivations like ambition, greed, ego.

And that word - enlightenment. The ultimate goal. To become lighter. Less attached. More free. Does one strive for it or just let it happen. Either, man. Just do it your way. It's no big deal. Check out the world around you. The leaves on the ground. The clouds. The river. Nature is all about slow and simple change, constant. It's all movement. It's all beautiful, too. Really look. See how magnificent things are. You don't need anything more that what you have. Breathe it in. Sigh.

It's all just fine.

The old caravan up the back of the yard
Lies empty most of the time
It's a simple one
But it has dignity and poise
Sometimes I go up and just look at it
Walk around it
Sometimes, I go and sit inside
I don't stay there too long
It has it's limitations 
I wouldn't be happy living in it
And yet
I respect it
The old caravan
It has a personality
It feels friendly and humble, kind
I may just be imagining
But I don't think so
I don't think so

The other day
I thought about a story
Of a man who sits and looks at a caravan
Most or every day
And eventually it starts speaking to him
And suggesting things to him
It asks him to bring people to him
It starts to control his mind, his life

Might be a good story
Might make a good short flim

Oh, that old caravan up the back there
It's an inspiration
Never goes anywhere anymore
But it can still take you places

This is today. New Brighton beach in Northern New South Wales. I snapped this shot before an afternoon walk and swim. While I was immersed in the ocean I thought about what it is that drives me to enter the sea on a daily basis, what the reward is. I actually started speaking out loud about it, free versing while being lapped by the waves, expressing the moment to myself and the omniscient planet soul. I used a retarded Jerry Lewis voice for our amusement. 

What I came up with is this:

You enter the ocean. It is a massive body of energy, the biggest on the planet. You connect with it. You give yourself to it. You become one with it. It is soothing, embracing, invigorating. It is a pure force of nature. You commune with it. Float, frolic, flap around. Play.

Then, above you - the sky. It is majestic and limitless. I looked up and realised that there is no end to where I am gazing. It goes on and on. And on and on. The sky is infinity. It is a window to eternity. Timelessness, a universe. A galaxy. All right there. Up there, above.

So, the ocean comforts and the sky humbles. I am comforted and humbled. This is a good combination. I feel surrender and awe. Giddy with the realisation that life itself is beyond comprehension. But that doesn't matter. All I have to do is splash around. A teeny, tiny little human. Living in the moment. One with the sea and and the sky. One with everything.

When you take snapshots of yourself and select your favourite - what are you looking for? Are you trying to see/portray yourself for who you are or are you trying to capture/present a version of yourself that most fits your ideal self image?

Makes sense to do the latter, of course. But a selfie is just the cover. What really is important is what's inside the book. And what is equally important is that - this may come as a surprise - that YOU READ THE BOOK.

The book of self. New pages everyday. Some bits you write, others are written for you. All you have to do is record them. Some bits get erased. Some segments are abbreviated. Some are drawn out. 

What is your story, though? 

These days there are lots of book covers being flashed around but there is less and less content being revealed. Why is that? 

There's always so much going on that things like long, intimate conversations with lucid friends, meaningful connections, investments of time and energy in those in need, etc - have become less prevalent. 

Character. Personal morality. Philosophy. Discourse. Ethics.

In this money focused, ambition driven society there is less and less time for these things. Perhaps because the world has become so thick with information (and disinformation), in addition to entertainment and various forms of distraction (facebook, twitter, insta for starters), it is so easy to just drift along on a raft and never have to paddle or pull over to the shore and stake a claim or make a home. We are overwhelmed by complex systems, wheels within wheels; social, political and physical.

The world now takes it's own selfie, every day, every minute, every second. And we are not sure what to think. It is always changing! It's alluring, dangerous, stimulating, confronting, familiar and foreign all at once. Are we part of it? Have things gone beyond the point where one person, any given single entity - with their views, opinions, feelings, thoughts, outlooks - really matters? Is it all too much? Is the river now a tidal wave, a tsunami? Are we all just hanging on and hoping to land somewhere safe?

We take selfies to benignly assert our presence in the modern day. Look! This is me! Having fun, acting cool, being silly, sexy, wild! I exist. I am living the life. Whatever that is, at the moment. Don't ask. Questions make for discomfort. Questions stir things up. Especially questions we avoid asking ourselves. Those ones. The ones we are not sure we are even equipped to answer. Why bother? It's easier to just float along from day to day. Things will work out. 

Thing is - who are you?

Don't you want to get to know yourself? Look at yourself? See what you are made of? Get to know your true essence? 

If you do, you can, and you won't regret it. To find, you must seek. And the answers will only come once the questions are asked. And no one is going to do that for you. Not once you are an adult, anyway. It's your responsibility. In some ways, it's your primary one. To get to know yourself. Beyond what is on the cover. Beyond the presentation. Open the book up. Look inside. There is a world as grand and magical as you can imagine. There are things there that might make you uncomfortable, even fearful. But the truth is there is nothing to be afraid of. It's all you. 

And you, my friend, you're a flawed and complex, sentient being. Just like us all. Do not judge or condemn. Accept and embrace. Discover. Uncover. Allow. Once you can do it for yourself, you'll be able to do it for others. 

What does this mean in real terms - beyond the new age slogans? I don't know. It's different for us all. What I am saying - to myself, really - is that there is a need for more substance, more fibre, grit, integrity. What good is it to simply exist, without allowing your character to grow, to be revealed, to be celebrated in essence? Why not at least try to sort through your shit and dust off your dreams, pick up the book you have neglected and start to make up some stuff that you will proud of one day. Make a story, live a story, that you want to read. It doesn't matter what the fucking cover looks like, it's what's inside that matters. We want laughter and tears and meaningful, wonderful events to occur. Substance. You hear me? 

Living in the county is so much better than the city for so many reasons. But even with all the benefits and joys of things like no traffic lights, no parking tickets, fresh air, big skies, friendly people, laid back pace... etc... there are still plenty of times when you can take the wholesome goodness for granted and still become stressed over daily minutiae and concerns. 

One of the things that never fails to remind me of how lucky and grateful I am, almost on a daily basis, is seeing the cows out in the paddocks. Whichever direction I head in, I drive past lots of them, and I look at them and I feel serenity and acceptance. They are humble creatures. They hang out together, in nature, under the sun. They move slowly, big cruisers, they munch at will, they stay still, look around casually. No wonder the Indians think of them as divine beasts. I have to agree. They are.

Lighten up!

There is an abundance of things to be stressed about, enraged about, feel hard done by.... and I'm not just talking about our current government.

Sometimes it seems like the whole world is on the brink of collapse. And maybe it is.

I think its great to join together with others and join protests, take action against injustice, offer support, etc. But, as well, on a personal level, you want to avoid getting over burdened by fretting about events that you can not change and that are beyond the scope of your sphere of influence. There is just too much bad stuff going on at the moment that to take it all on mentally is just going to bring you down.

So, what to do? 

Seek the silly.
Favour the fun.
Follow the path to the pun.
Grow your own mirth.
Group giggles.
Funny accents whenever possible.
Jigs, slapstick, loud farts.

There's a lot you can do. The list goes on. I am not advocating ignoring reality, I am suggesting that you augment it with a fair share of lighthearted enjoyment. As often as you possibly can.

For in the end, whether the world eventually balances out and becomes the utopia it could be, the natural, just and egalitarian kingdom we all want it to be, or whether it all explodes in a flaming ball of human greed and foolishness, you may as well have a snicker or two along the way. Like a school day. It's mostly a bunch of useless bullshit being heaped upon you; play truant sometimes, have fun with your friends, cause some disruption. Cause just like when you make it through school and realise that it was all just a construct of control and oppression... well, so is modern day life in our society. So give it the finger, ignore the bla bla bla, zone out, dream your own dreams, slip out the back door and go find some sunshine and freedom to bask in.

Like Ghandi once said, "Fucking hell! What's the point in endless suffering?!" 

And soon after, decided to never wear a business suit instead and wrapped himself in his bed sheet. Good man.

As a sentient being there is no escape from feeling and experiencing life. We like to believe that there is a reason behind it all, a justification, a validation for our demanding and formidable journeys. But what if there is not? What if this realm is truly just a harsh and difficult existence? One that, for reasons beyond comprehension, has to be experienced? Nothing gained can be taken with you. Any relief from the never ending demands are just temporary and fleeting. In fact, they may only add to the magnitude of suffering that is to come. 

Buddhist teaching says that life is suffering and I have to agree. It just seems almost too hard sometimes. I don't see what the purpose of this enforced series of procedures is. Endure, endure, endure, then die. OK. What was that for exactly? Some lives have extended times of loving and beauty and freedom and joy, but from what I have witnessed; most do not. There are times of comparative relief and short periods within a day or a month or a year or a life that are not stressful and demanding but mostly, it's just hard going.

I have engineered my life to have as few demands and stresses as possible. I try to have plenty of free time to pursue art and writing and thinking and just being. I have time for exercise and connecting with nature and relating with good people and play. And yet still, there is a heaviness, a constant, sublime feeling of uneasiness. Sometimes it's simply because life itself is so much to comprehend. We are mere mortals. Puny. We are specks. Star dust. Flippity-floppety little human entities. What are we doing? What are we really here for? It seems as though there has been a mistake made along the way in evolution, we've taken a wrong turn. If this is of our own spiritual creation, our own devising.... why would it be like THIS??? 

I find it hard to abide. Really. Sometimes more than others. And, of course, I acknowledge the incredible beauty that surrounds us, the dignity of fellow beings, the miracle of life, the gorgeous glory of newborns and children, etc. But I still feel that there is a quantifiable imbalance. Life is not what I imagined it would be. I thought that the struggle during teen years, through the twenties.... and on... would lead to some kind of resolution, a settling. Some kind of peace, mental and spiritual. But I have found no evidence of this. Am I missing something? I live in a great country, in a wonderful, peaceful, friendly small town, I have a supportive family and great friends across the globe. I have my health, physical and mental. And yet...

I'm raving, I know. But that is what this forum is for. An occasional ablution is necessary. Even this writing, though, what is it? Little symbols that form words and concepts. You can read them and get something. You can hear my soul. Is it singing or is it screaming? Am I a madman shouting or an ordinary man who is questioning that nature of reality, one who is not content to turn away, one who is compelled, often despite his own wishes, to face the immense, throbbing, pulsating, infinite series of vibrations and molecular clashes that form a never ending cacaphony of thoughts, images, sounds, sensations and experiences? 

I am screaming. Silently. Am I calling for help? No. Not really. Am I looking for acknowledgement? No, not really, that either. Then... ? 

I am trying to express the complex nature of my relationship with life. It is compelling. It is complex. It is relentless. I have travelled through it for 53 years so far. No bad. It's been quite a journey and there have been plenty of times and experiences that I cherish and am thrilled to have had. Plenty. I am not complaining. I am not bitter or angry or resentful by any means. In fact, I am grateful. But the fact remains, that between when I get up each morning to when I go to sleep each night, there is a series of thousands, tens of thousands maybe, of feelings, FEELINGS that pass through me, some lingering, some flashing, many of little consequence, a few profound.... FEELINGS.... that make up my day. By the end I am tired. As I go through it, I am challenged. I cannot name these phantoms, I cannot categorise everything - although I often try to in an attempt to come to terms with it all. 

I have to believe that surrender, surrender is what should be done. Let it go. Let it be. And I do that. I really do. Still, still, still...! Can you hear me? I am a sentient being hurled into a life form that has become comfortable and familiar, not only second nature, but first nature. I acknowledge that I am a person. Humble, vulnerable, fragile. But with powers to take it on, whatever. With a will to live and endure till the end. A will to survive, to thrive. I am weary, I am wounded. I admit that this brand of reality is not what I would have chosen. I'd like something more like heaven, all the cliched juice with a bit of sauciness and some thrills. I'd like more of the good stuff and less of the pain. I'd like better endings, more satisfying middles and unlimited new beginnings. I would like, you know, utopia. Bring it on. Seriously. Like now, already!

So, if it lays up ahead for us all, waiting to surprise us, reward us for our hard work, our labour, if it is our destination. Well, then, OK, I will continue to endure this weird blend of exquisite suffering until then. But seriously, it better be there up ahead.... or I'm going to be one disappointed corpse!

Dear Artists,

It's a funny thing we do, eh?

Make pictures. 

Use line and form and colour, shading and perspective to make images. They come out of nowhere. Out of our heads. From out souls, through our bodies. 

Control and release. Control and release.

We watch ourselves in action, make amends. Where is it going? Shall I reign it in now or keep the flow? Will I go too far? Will I ruin it? Is it any good? What IS good?

Years and years and years it takes to truly find your groove. 

When you are beginning, it's experimentation. It's easy, joyful, tentative. With a few of the early pictures, there's the element of pride and a sense of accomplishment. "Look what I've done!' It feels amazing. It's almost like a drug. As you progress, you venture further, you apply yourself for longer and longer. You realise that it is no longer just a distraction. You become aware that you have found something, an activity, that gives back as much as it demands. 

It's one of the most complex puzzles that exist. It is never ending. The only rules are that there are none. You can do what ever you want. There are no wrongs or rights. It's all up to you. The freedom is incredible. And somewhat overwhelming, too. So much. Too much. There has to be some kind of structure. One that you make up for yourself. A form, guidelines within which you can let loose. You decide what is good. You feel what is good. It's very honest. There is no kidding yourself. 

Before you have a relationship with art. It's sublime. The more you enter into it, the more time and energy you invest; the more you get in return. But your return is not necessarily evident to anyone else. It is not tangible. It is not a trophy or money or a cheering crowd. No, no, art is too, too precious, too mindful and murky, mysterious and profound for that. It is connected to pure soul. It is not something that can be bought, traded or sold. Not the spirit of it. A great work of art contains spirit, sure, but what is captured on the canvas or the paper is only a remnant of what has gone into. A hint. The size and quantity and breadth of the passion that has powered the artistic creation is immeasurable. Immense. 

Creating a work is not unlike riding a wave. It cannot be boxed, labelled, re-created. It is fully being in the moment. Fully. Being. In. The. Moment. It is ecstasy. It is release. It is a pure connection with the absolute. 

You know what I am talking about, right? You've been there, too? Not often, but often enough. Enough to want more. Enough to be grateful. Grateful to be lucky enough to realise that whatever else may transpire in this chaotic, demanding, wounding, beguiling world: you are an artist. You can transcend. You have been given the tools and you have, with passion and diligence, applied yourself, focused your body and mind, channeled your spirt and contributed to the beauty and wonder of what is real, what is true, what is pure.

You have allowed your soul to shine through. Through the quagmire of daily demands, through the mist of social confusion, through the representation of at times debilitating personal demons - the ones that are out to get you! still!! - through that, through that to something timeless and ethereal, something momentous. You have brushed up against the infinite for a few seconds, in your avid pursuit of image and splash. 

You have glimpsed the glorious nature of nature and the brilliance and light. You have shifted shapes and animated line. You are a knight, a warrior, a hero to no one other than yourself. And even then. No, no, you are  a hero. For a time. You have put your entire being on the line for something you believe in. Something intangible but more real than anything. Life itself. 

You have communed and communicated. Touched and responded to the essence. Struggled and struggled and struggled some more. Until, years, decades later, you have found yourself. Standing in front of an image that you have conjured up out of nowhere. You know it but you don't it. You made it but you didn't. It is more that an expression, a picture. It is alive. It is you.

Hey kid,

You're a very sensitive fellow. But you are also very thoughtful, observant and wise. Your instincts are good - continue to follow them and believe in your own, unique, world view. 

You have to put up with a lot of crap from figures of authority. They are often wrong, as you suspected, and are really just stupid bullies. You fight them and lose because they hold all the power. But I admire your sense of righteousness and low tolerance for injustice. Don't let those fuckers break you! (They won't.)

Although you have a naturally positive and adventurous, hopeful outlook, you are often deeply saddened by your circumstances. You feel misunderstood and misaligned. You don't really fit in with conventional ways. This will not change. 

Your curiosity, love of reading, love of exploration and FUN are a centre point to your being. Your instinct is to do what makes you happy. This is a good thing. Stick with it. 

You love people - good people, open minded people, playful people, big hearted people. You are a champion for the under dog. Heck, you are the under dog!

Much of what you learn is though interacting with others - outside of the school system. You instinctively seek and find slightly older mentors who offer you new insight, support and reassurance. This is a good thing and will continue into your thirties. 

You love of romance and woman will continue to grow. Aren't they amazing creatures. As best as you can, treat them with respect and kindness. They thrive on attention and emotional connection. A few will try and get the better of you, but don't worry, they will soon fall away. 

You will be lucky enough to have some wonderful, exciting relationships with some truly beautiful women as you get older. Don't worry too much if it doesn't always turn out right for now. There's plenty to look forward to.

I remember you sitting on the steps, alone, outside the dance or the club, on occasion and feeling alone, sad. Wishing you could find someone to have a heart connection with. Don't worry, kid. They will come. 

You will marry, too. It won't last but you didn't want it to. She wasn't the right one and you knew this before you proposed. But, ironically, getting married was the only way out. She was a tough one to shake. She had emotional power over you. It wasn't until you become husband and wife and she cheated on you that you could sever the ties and walk away with clear conscience and freshly empowered. 

Your thirties are when you will really have some hugely rewarding love affairs and relationships. Some that last years, others months and a few for only weeks. But, kid, believe me, you will not be disappointed. 

Later in life, in your fifties, you'll remain un-remarried. After a promising relationship in your late forties that turns sour, you decide that being single is actually your preference. You love your freedom and independence. 

From early on, you choose to be a free spirit. You do not like to be pinned down, committed, or stuck. You like to sleep when you want, wake when you want and do as you choose with your time. This makes holding a job quite difficult. And after trying a few in your late twenties you decide it's not for you. 

After all, you are an artist. An artist and a writer. Did I mention that? Yes, it's true. Your love of books and art and movies never wanes and you begin to express your own truth. You go to art school. You study film making. You write and publish your own poetry and stories and comics. You even publish a book when you are forty. It's called 'All I've Ever Wanted Is What I Know I Can Never Have.' Nice title!

You study screenwriting at UCLA and end up writing six feature films. None of them get made, so you kind of give up and go back to painting. But you continue to make short films and write journals and poems and comics, of course. You've always loved comics!

You do stand up for a while. Solo and as a duo. You tour briefly. It's a tough road. Not for you. You also have your own comedy radio show. That is good. You always wanted that! You create some great characters and really enjoy writing and performing. You even win an award for you comedy writing! And cash!

You move to Byron Bay for seven years. Then get invited to perform your original comedic monologue in New York! Cool, huh?! They pay for you to go over, so you pack up and go. NYC isn't your style so you move to LA. It's good there, but, once again, you are an outsider and despite some elements that you really enjoy, you decide to return to Australia. 

You love your country more than ever and eventually end up back up north. This time in Mullumbimby. There are cows and chickens in the backyard. The sky is big. The sea is close by. You visit every day - you've always loved, indeed, needed the ocean. The air is clean and fresh. Country living, the simple life suits you.

You don't have much. An old car, an old computer, a small room you rent and a storage shed full of painting from the 25 plus art exhibitions you've held over the last 30 years.

When I say you don't have much, I mean, of course, material things. You have plenty. Health, freedom, imagination. Your future is open to possibility... 

It's hard being an artist. Especially one that isn't motivated to self promote. Still, every day you create new works - two, three, four, five.... You love seeing what comes out. It reminds you of the comic covers you so used to enjoy as a kid. You've got plans to publish a book of your own recent comics - you've done over 200 of them over the last year. That will be good, huh? 

Anyway, gotta go now, kid. Just thought I'd say hello and tell you some things. Of course you won't get this back then. 

But you've got it now. Take it easy.