Blog Archives - Lewie JPD

just be you

28/10/2013

A world full of choices from sweet to bitter
There are plenty of things you oughta do
But only one way to go - if you really consider
All you gotta do is just be you

It kinda sounds easy
But that isn't so
Reality's so teasing
It's hard to really know

Sometimes you just get lost
Illusion, deception are a fog
Ambition, too, comes at a cost
Desire makes you Pavlov's dog

Bark in the dark
Nobody hears you
Your tail stop wagging
It suddenly appears you

Got screwed over by circumstance
Took a wrong turn at the fork
Didn't dive in when you had a chance
Now you can't get it to work

Focus on breathing, live in truth
Heed your heart but think things through
Your power is within, it's living proof
All you gotta do is just be you

Signals bombarding from every direction
Ways of old offer no protection
Use your instinct to help get through
All you gotta do is just be you

Just Be You

country road takes me home

27/10/2013

Just drove back home after a lovely dinner at my friend's place. Not far, it's about two and a half clicks away. On the way there, I drove past glorious fields, spread with sunset softness. There were cows speckling the scenery, birds aplenty. I saw a rabbit dart across the lane way. Essentially, it was a visual treat to go from here to there. Coming home it was dark but pleasant in it's own way. I didn't see a single soul and no signs of any other vehicles at all. Just me, cruising along, covering ground, time and space, a small quiet, natural terrain in my little bubble. And I noticed how nice it was... to be able to experience this little segment unencumbered by other entities of any form. Just a human moving over the land, from one place to another. After having spent the last few years in the city, where in the same distance I would probably encounter upwards of about 1,000 vehicles/people in the same distance, it was surprising and rewarding. Made me realise how much happier and at ease I am being back in a small town. You have some much more space and time to yourself. The creator, the dreamer, the imaginist that is me absolutely loves it! I feel lucky, privileged to be here.

slap in the face

24/10/2013

The year was 1970. The place: Tokyo, Japan.

My family had just moved there from the newly developed suburb of Wahroonga, Sydney. My father was setting up his business in Japan. It was winter. We saw snow for the first time. My brothers and I were enrolled in St. Mary's International School - an American system school, run by Canadian Christian brothers, located in Isarago, Tokyo. Half the kids were Japanese, the other half ambassador's sons.

On the first day there, halfway through the school year - for me - 5th grade - there was a special showing of a movie on a special big screen that had been set up in the gymnasium for the entire school. It was packed with over 1,000 people I had never met before. The movie was Patton. I had only ever seen two movies before in my life. One was 'Oliver Twist', the other was 'The Sound of Music' - G rated stuff. I didn't know why we were watching this adult film or what it was about. It opens with a massive US flag and actor George C. Scott - a powerhouse actor of his day - in four star general regalia, giving a passionate, didactic speech about combat and courage. It was mesmerising and somewhat overwhelming.

Later on, Patton bullies soldiers into action and slaps a gentle hearted grunt in the face because he is afraid. In my young mind, I was that timid soldier and this, my first interaction with my new school was a sharp and shocking awakening. Weeks earlier, I had been at the tiny Bush School in Wahroonga, less than twenty in my class, a pencil and a small notebook in hand, a tuck shop with Vegemite sandwiches and small packs of Twisties, games with sticks and rocks and tennis ballls. Now I was here, dressed in uniform - including grey pants, white shirt, neck tie and jacket with insignia. I was inducted into a new system of regimented learning and ordered behaviour.

I never really fit in in that school. I often felt silenced and stifled. Bullied by students and teachers. Starting at around the age of 13 or 14, I began to rebel. I smoked cigarettes, cut classes, got suspended. At 16 I got a motorcycle and distanced myself even more. I did no sports (too competitive) or extra curricular activities (clique-y,). My report card showed C's and D's. The only areas in which I showed promise were Art, English, Drama and Geometry. Everything else seemed inane and a waste of my time. I caused disruptions with joking and sabotage. I spent many hours in my favourite place of refuge - the library. I read constantly. I had long hair and was unkempt in appearance.

One good thing was that I was able to connect with a make friends with a lot of good kids. Because I was no threat to anyone, with a casual attitude and I liked to joke and laugh, I found that I naturally got along with almost everybody. Without my knowing, I was excelling at something. Connecting with other humans on a warm, personal level. Sharing stories, adventures and having fun on the outer perimeters of the system. My class in grade 10 had kids from 32 different countries. I was mates with Jin Sa Bum, Yodnapa Chabunsai, Raghu Rao - and even an Aussie kid - David Smith. Weird name, I know!

My sense of humour got me into trouble with older kids with attitude, especially on the school bus. I liked making quips and would not back down when an upperclassman tried to supress or dominate. Often two or three of them would grab me and pummel me. I wasn't looking for trouble. It found me. In later years, I started lifting weights and confronted one of them when he mindlessly hurt me at the water bubbler. Lifting him up and pushing his horizontal body into a wall, I dropped him to the ground and walked away, angry and shaking. He didn't come back to class that day. I thought he might be dead. He wasnt'. But there was a positive effect - after that, the bullying ceased.

My class, '78, just had their 35th reunion in Tokyo. It's a long time ago now. But since that first day, big Patton booming, it has loomed loudly in my memory and psyche. Much diminished now, of course. Integrated, accepted. It was a grand old time. I was a deserter. I didn't believe in their cause: ambition, success, winning, aggression. For even then, although I didn't know it. I was a poet, and artist, a lover and a peace maker. I'm free now - have been for quite a while. Free to be me.

keeping an eye on things

21/10/2013

I haven't been posting as often as usual. That's because I have been busy - living life. Moving into a new house, playing with my delightful, dearly loved godsons, 8 and 11, and generally adapting to a fresh new environment. I've been fully engaged by reality. I've still been producing artwork daily and doing plenty of imagining, creative planning and general cogitating and speculation in regards to the human condition - I just have not found the time to sit down and contribute as much.

This is not an apology or an excuse of any kind, just an explanation. Who for? I'm not sure. Regardless, it feels better now that I have not only confessed but in doing so I have posted something fresh. Perhaps not very interesting - but the picture is good. That counts for something.

close yr eyes & open yr mouth

16/10/2013

Each day I create between three and six new artworks. It's what I do, I put images together like notes in a musical score and try to make something harmonious or discordant as the case may be. Usually it's a blend of the two.

It's a simple pleasure - I make these pictures on my Samsung Note using the basic SMemo program. The limitations, I have found, give me great freedom. I started playing with the phablet (phone/tablet - it's got a little stylus) as soon as I could get my hands on one - which is about 18 months ago. It's a mobile studio - fits in my pocket!

In the beginning my images were rather messy, clunky, experimental. Over time they have become a little more easy, interesting, evocative. I found a form of artistic expression (a modern one), that I have stuck with, practiced at, until good results started appearing with regularity.

I don't really know where these pictures will lead. I have done over two and a half thousand so far. A recent off shoot is that I have been using them in my single page comics - Mind's I. This has proved enjoyable and productive, also. I have done over one hundred of these in the last five months. It's a challenging/satisfying merging of image, concept and words.

I also enjoy choosing an image every few days for this blog. Somehow it will relate to what I am saying. Sometimes, I have a preconcept, other times I use the picture as a catalyst for my informal rambling.

Blackswan, laughing woman, helicopter. See! There's a seamless symmetry!

cheer and delight

12/10/2013

I have entered a new phase of existence. To my delight, my moving back to the country (Mullumbimby) after being in the city (mostly Sydney, with half a year in LA and a few months in NYC), has proved to be not just a good idea but an enriching, revitalising move. Things have changed in the five years since I left - mostly me. As in - my perception. Every day now, I delight in the wonderful visuals of the area. The rows of trees, the light gradation of slopes and ranges in front of hills and mountains, the ever changing seas and skies, the bursting colourful leaves and flowers that predominate and thrive. I have seen and interacted with dogs, horses, cows, rabbits, spiders, chickens, goats, even whales - all within these first few weeks.

I knew it was beautiful up here, but I wasn't expecting to feel so nourished and re-inspired by the area. Meanwhile, I am eating better food, and less, and getting more sunshine, fresh air and exercise. I am no longer an inner city zombie!

The effect on my thinking allows for a greater scope and increased clarity. There is time and space to speculate, cogitate, bliss out. This is what every artist needs. Our work mirrors our perception. It's an expression and reflection of where we are at in our personal evolution. We make art not only for the enjoyment of the process but also as a tool to learn more about ourselves, the world and humanity. We are conduits, but also, scientists. We look at what we have made and consider it's origins and meanings on multiple levels. If we don't do it consciously, we do it subconsciously. We repeat this process over a lifetime. That is why it is so awe inspiring and educational to read books and study the artistic progression of favourite artists. Their tale is told in their work - and completely mirrors their life trajectory.

_____________________________

I was thinking about what I was writing here, this afternoon, towards sunset as I headed off to a local poker game. Of course, I was taking in the beauty all around, just eating it up. What I was thinking was how writing these entries is a valuable addition to my art output. It offers an insight into my headspace on any given day. While at times the posts may, to me, seem any number of things including - a burden, trite, imbecilic, try hard, etc - in the long run I believe it is a discipline that will be worthy of my time and effort.

I truly do attempt to purvey what is going on for me in relation to my art and awareness, so I have an honest relationship with the process. I do not try and formulate an outcome or manufacture sentiiments in any way. I want to write my truth, as it appears, without judgement or edit. What can be more worthwhile? As humans, by the nature of the game, we are struggling entities. Anything that can help myself or others to come to terms with the process must be good. If a young artist is to read this in the future - like I have read the journals of the creative forebearers I admire - and find some grains of inspiration, consolation or acknowledgment then it has been a good thing.

And good things, true good things, are, all in all, rare. They should be celebrated with cheer and delight.

fish out of coffee

6/10/2013

A fish out of water is one thing, but a fish out of coffee is like a shot of short black sheep jumping over the fence which he is on about almost everything except how much sugar to put in the tank top of the rollergirl in the scuba gear in the reef of good grief and bad breaking neck speed freaks festivals in summertime, summertime.

WTF, right?!

What can I tell you? Today was a good day.

Jumping off the Bruns bridge into the river with sparkling water, streaming currents and spirited kidlings. Then a body surf, 100 metres away in the pounding surf with my godsons. Chocolate gelato, a coupla games of dice (tenzi) with the kids, hand-made dumplings for dinner, then the last 20 mins of the grand final on abc radio, lying on my futon in my comfy dungeon nook within Myocum palace.

Like I said; a good day!

old fashioned timeless paradox

3/10/2013

Components. Segments. Fractions. Sequences. Events.

Our lives are divided. We function by making multi-layered compartments and dealing with them in tandem. Running strings of incidents and perceptions, emotions and outcomes together. Like music. When the event/day is proceeding as planned, on key; it's harmonious. When not: discordant.

We put everything in it's mental file folder. Or leave a shambles on the desktop of our psyches. All a part of the process.

What is amazing is that we have so many options/choices in every moment and yet somehow manage to carve a unique and (somewhat) comfortably personal single path out of the zillion possible directions. Over and over. We do it consciously and subconsciously with both awareness and complete ignorance. Even as full adults, we are relative babies. One lifetime, ten generations; nothing! A droplet. And yet, there are moments/days/sequences that for each of us are so engaging and or demanding that it feels as though every iota of being is being called upon to attend.

It's the good old fashioned, timeless paradox of existence!

So, how to cope? What to take from this brief speculation? 'Go with the flow' is about the best I can come up with. It too, as a course of action has been around forever and has withstood the test, the infinite tests of universal incarnations. It means, to me at least; allow yourself to be guided by a combination of intuition, judgement and behavioural modification based on surrounding situations and occurrences. It means: don't freak out, stay a little detached, but get into it, as well. Sage advice from unknown origin with unquantifiable results. And yet, it's as good as there is.

home advantage

1/10/2013

It's official. I have moved to the country. A wonderful small town with no traffic lights, no parking meters, no buildings over two stories high.... It's blissful, peaceful, mellow. It always happens. You move to the city for a while and you get used to it, adapt. Part of you thinks it's not that different from the country - just busier, more crowded - but there's heaps more to do. But once you return to the county environment you quickly realise that you were kidding yourself - the two are SO incredibly different. Here there is so much less stress. The air is good. There is space. Your soul literally lets out a sigh of relief. Just driving home from the beach this afternoon, past cows, open fields, sweeping hills... I was awestruck and delighted. I live here now. Again. I'm back where I belong! Aaaaahhhhh....!