I've always had a very busy mind. Sometimes too busy. I try to quieten it with activities, distractions, exercise and sleep with varying degrees of success. Of course, making art is a great queller.
When I was younger, I would very easily be distracted by women. What a glorious distraction they are! I was able to keep myself busy running around chasing them, trying to escape them and making whoopee with them in all it's wonderful varieties, sexual and otherwise.
These days I have quietened down somewhat. I'm not a young buck anymore and although the interest from my side has only waned to a degree the interest from the fairer sex has diminished substantially. A woman in her thirties is going to want a man in his thirties. Same for forties - it's only natural. Guys who are fifty plus can still be of interest but they need money, status or power. Personality alone will not get you across the line like it did decades ago.
I have accepted this truth and focus my energy on generally enjoying life, nature, relationships without the constant sex drive. In some ways it's a relief. My mind, too, has quietened down to a manageable level. I remember in my 20's and 30's it was at times like a wild horse. I was worried. I got did anxiety management courses, saw counsellors, did therapy, yoga. It all helped. There were some times I doubted I would get this far.
Now that I am here I feel happy to have survived. I've seen and done plenty. Now it's time to concentrate on creative output. I have been an artist, writer and performer for over thirty years. It's who I am. I embrace it fully now and seek to use the wisdom and experience to create work that will exhilarate and delight. I want to reach my potential as a creator, fulfill my ambitions as an artist. Make the sort of stuff that I always dreamed of seeing - on a wall, in the cinema and in books and comics.
The apprentice
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