It's been almost two weeks now. Chest infection. Lots of coughing. Coughing, coughing, coughing.
The first four days and nights were the worst. I could not sleep. I was delirious. On the fourth night I felt like I was losing my mind. I was mildly hallucinating. In the end I rugged up and slept outside on the balcony for I could find peace no where else. I slept a few hours.
Since then I have just been low energy, still lots of coughing. It's annoying and boring. Kind of like being half alive. There's no joy or zest. Everything is a chore. You feel like shit.
It really brings home just how important health and well being are. Without a robust vehicle to inhabit, well, the spirit grows weary.
I have been unable to do my daily exercise, walk and swim and that has been difficult, but I have maintained my daily output of comics. In fact, some days, that has been the only window of any satisfaction in the day. For two days I could not even do anything. That's how low I was. But one day last week, I churned out a record twelve new works!
I am writing this because it is what I am experiencing and, frankly, I thought if I wait till things are great again it could be a while.
One thing worth sharing about the experience is what happened on hell night no. 3. Delirious, unable to sleep, I sat up in bed and began spontaneously dictating a feature film. I played all the characters. Out loud. My mind just let go and a stream of lines spewed forth. It was rather entertaining. I considered recording it or trying to write it down but I couldn't find the energy. Instead I just let it flow. I figured if it's all in there anyway, when the time comes, I can access it again. Day 7 I had an even better idea for a feature. This time it came in scene ideas. No dialogue. It's a good one and I will write it down and develop it when I feel better.
The other thing that I experienced was a feeling about how important it is to give. To be generous and open hearted. To share and bring joy to other lives. I realised quite clearly that, bottom line, there is no better life choice. Of course, we all know this in the back of our minds, but it really hit home.
This feeling hasn't left and will inform my future decisions for action. So being sick has not been a total loss. Still, I hate it. I am taking some Chinese medicines from a generous and learned healer friend of mine who I bumped into at the checkout counter at Woolies. He also bought me a huge chunk of ginger. Kindness. Compassion. That'll fix anything.
Hopefully, I shall return to these pages in a few days, fully recovered and brimming with vivacity. Until then, it's back to the nether regions, the twilight zone, the damp cave of existence for a few more days of toughing it out.