I usually don't think about it too much in advance, just shake up the jar, open the lid and see what spills out - but I wanted to write something with currency, perhaps even temerity. I wanted to do this because I have an internal rating system in my memory and carry a constant idea of the aggregate weight and substance of my recent entries. If I feel there has been too much fluff or self indulgence in sequence, I try and mine the deeper recesses of my creative subconscious for some stuff of greater value, higher payoff, more meaning. If not gold, because gold has to be stumbled upon, not manufactured, then at least a good vein of silver or some random shiny diamonds.
And did I find anything while mining my mind tonight?
Maybe. I cannot say.
What I did come up with was the realisation that whatever I write here in this cyberspace journal, my artist's diary, is really only a translation of what goes on in my head. And a pretty rough one at that. Rough and basic. Very basic. The true nature of what occurs in our minds is so vastly more complex and incredible than we could ever express with mere words that it is almost inane. It's like a super genius explaining something to an eight year old and then getting him or her to then retell it to a friend the next day during playtime.
Seriously. I was paying some close attention to the amazing, yes, amazing, cerebral zinging that was going on while I was prone pondering this evening - and I knew, that there would be absolutely no way that I could ever, EVER express the full spectrum of the stellar light show that was occurring. Still, I resolved, I would try. At very least I would be able to explain and apologise for the gap between what goes on and what is reported. And that in itself, that may be somewhat illuminating.
What I am saying is true for us all. We are so much more complex than we realise. We are absorbing and processing and filtering such a vast amount of information from so many sources on so many levels in our every waking moment. And then, when it comes time to condense and arrange it, we end up with, by default, a simplistic sliver of the whole. It's not a surprise, really - or a revelation. But the interesting thing is that a lot of the wild thinking can be observed in moments of solitude and respite and not only enjoyed but quietly marvelled at. What beings we are! Incredible. Way, way, way beyond what we give ourselves credit for. And way beyond what we are currently able to manifest. Or type out in a soliloquy. And this is a good thing to acknowledge. Because it means that we are all very much richer than we know.
Take a look, have a listen to what goes through your mind when you take some time out to quietly think or meditate. Once you go out beyond the breaking waves of the chatter, there's a whole ocean of incredible power and timeless beauty there. It's yours. It's you. It's all of us.
Despite the horrible tragedies and injustices that are occurring daily in our time - that seem to be coming to a head, perhaps - there lies beyond a splendid and unlimited array of alternative realities within each of us. Accessible now.
Go on, go take a look. See for yourself. It's just like someone whispered. The change we long to see in this world comes from within.