What flavours of living do you enjoy the most?
Are you sometimes aware of the separation of your body and your soul?
When you dream are you more present, more engaged than in your waking life?
Beyond surface living, we all have massive, complex realms of existence. We don't talk about these things often, if at all. They are subtle and profound - unique to each of us... our individual perception mixed with our innate predilections creates a spectrum so immense it is immeasurable and beyond definition. Still, we all experience it - all the time.
Mostly, we kind of ignore it al - otherwise we may become overwhelmed. Sometimes though, we can tune in to certain elements and become hyper aware.
There is no need for drugs. We are drugs. Chemicals, molecules, electrons.... we are a living cornucopia of impulses, membranes, mass, volume, fluids and bone. We are totally beyond our own comprehension!
And still, we exist. And we try. We try to come to terms with our individual tenures here on this blue ball in space.
Am I freaking out? Not anymore. But I used to. I've been around for over five decades now - so I'm through the initial stages. Dues have been paid, experiences experienced, time served. I have lived and continue to do so. The only constant is change.
Most of the time I am quietly in awe. Amazed. I am at ease surrounded by fellow human but find solace in solitude as well. I am experiencing the perpetual sensation of being alive and expressing a snippet of my concept of my existence. Doing so pleases me in some small way. Validates, celebrates, cogitates...
Finally, I am beginning to truly feel what I always imagined it would feel to have a life. To habitate an entity of substance and experience. Somehow I have survived long enough to feel I belong. A miracle, really. And I'm happy to be here.
As always, I take it personally.