Lying in bed this morning I was contemplating past events and how along the way, stressful events and trauma spikes in the graph of daily existence can be collectively viewed to see the effect on life progression....
Some of mine came back to me:
Age 2: Kept in bed during the day with wooly jumper under thick blankets by controlling grandmother. Spent hours staring up at patterns in pressed tin ceiling, imagining and mildly hallucinating.
Age 9: Bitten by deadly funnel web spider while playing in dirt near the creek in Wahroonga. Told I could die at any time. Out of body experience. Survived because bite was on toe and it was a male arachnid.
Age 11: Surgery in Tokyo hospital far from family domicile. Left on my own. First put in very young children's ward then moved to old and dying people's area. Very spooky. Given too much drugs because I seemed big as a foreigner; near overdose. Major hallucinations, cold sweats, out of body experiences, isolation.
Ages 12 - 15: Repeated beatings by multiple school bullies. Often in groups of two or three, always older by at least a year.
Age 19: In open top mini moke jeep coming out of KX tunnel. Complete brake failure. Pull on hand brake causing front tyre to come off. Come to a screeching halt with axle sparking against road on William street at bottom of hill. Extremely lucky not to be injured.
Age 20: Decided to eat only raw nuts for one year. Weight dropped to 59kgs. Taken to psychiatrist. Diagnosed as anorexic.
Age 26: Fed magic mushrooms in Bali without knowledge. Complete freak out in hotel room lasting 8 hours, then massive anxiety attack on flight home.
Age 29: Wife has affair with Japanese Elvis impersonator while living in Tokyo after one year of marriage. Divorce.
Phew! That's enough for now. May finish list later...
My point is, that these kind of events, which we all experience in some form or other, are part of our formation and development. Over time, we subliminate/forget them but they remain as part of our psyche's textured, mottled terrain.
This is not meant as a 'poor me' confessional. I consider myself lucky. Many people suffer a lot more and a lot worse. I just was thinking about it this morning and thought it would be interesting to look back and squeeze out a list of some early events that still resonate on some level.
You know, blog as self therapy. It's trending.
Some of mine came back to me:
Age 2: Kept in bed during the day with wooly jumper under thick blankets by controlling grandmother. Spent hours staring up at patterns in pressed tin ceiling, imagining and mildly hallucinating.
Age 9: Bitten by deadly funnel web spider while playing in dirt near the creek in Wahroonga. Told I could die at any time. Out of body experience. Survived because bite was on toe and it was a male arachnid.
Age 11: Surgery in Tokyo hospital far from family domicile. Left on my own. First put in very young children's ward then moved to old and dying people's area. Very spooky. Given too much drugs because I seemed big as a foreigner; near overdose. Major hallucinations, cold sweats, out of body experiences, isolation.
Ages 12 - 15: Repeated beatings by multiple school bullies. Often in groups of two or three, always older by at least a year.
Age 19: In open top mini moke jeep coming out of KX tunnel. Complete brake failure. Pull on hand brake causing front tyre to come off. Come to a screeching halt with axle sparking against road on William street at bottom of hill. Extremely lucky not to be injured.
Age 20: Decided to eat only raw nuts for one year. Weight dropped to 59kgs. Taken to psychiatrist. Diagnosed as anorexic.
Age 26: Fed magic mushrooms in Bali without knowledge. Complete freak out in hotel room lasting 8 hours, then massive anxiety attack on flight home.
Age 29: Wife has affair with Japanese Elvis impersonator while living in Tokyo after one year of marriage. Divorce.
Phew! That's enough for now. May finish list later...
My point is, that these kind of events, which we all experience in some form or other, are part of our formation and development. Over time, we subliminate/forget them but they remain as part of our psyche's textured, mottled terrain.
This is not meant as a 'poor me' confessional. I consider myself lucky. Many people suffer a lot more and a lot worse. I just was thinking about it this morning and thought it would be interesting to look back and squeeze out a list of some early events that still resonate on some level.
You know, blog as self therapy. It's trending.
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