Come on! You're just sitting there. How can that be good for us? It's been hours! Who told you that this was a good idea in the first place? Not me. You didn't get my vote. I said we should go sailing or play Tomb Raider on Play Station! Don't you feel like a strawberry milkshake right now! Our legs are cramped! Just get up for a quick stretch! We're missing 'Australia's Got Talent!' Damnit! Are you listening to me?! You think you're a swami or something?! I'm not going to shut up! You can't make me! Hey! What about that chick over there in the corner?! She'd be pretty nice under those robes! Imagine! Did you turn off the car lights when you parked? I'm hungry! You need to piss! What's that humming sound? Let's lie back for a second! I'm not going to agree to that dumb chanting at the end! No way! Hey! Come on! This is enough! I want to go! Listen to me!!!
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I had to cross the fjord
Enter a new realm Dance with fools Be reborn I found a new love I lost all I had On a deadman's gamble And it wasn't so bad I lifted some spirits I spat in fear's face Without too much effort I avoided the race The sunshine was sparkling The water was chilled Art and music were playing My inner child was thrilled We all love the weekends When we can be free Frivolous and festive The way we're born to be Made friends with this dude through facebook. He posts his new paintings periodically and whenever there's a new one - like this - his latest - I get blown away. Can't quite put my finger on why I like them so much - but I do!
The artist's name is Mark Keilkucki and this painting is called 'Drifting'. His work is for sale and very reasonably priced I think. If I wasn't a povo artist and instead a wealthy collector, I'd be snapping them up with glee and relish. Have a look at his site and witness his fine form and style. There's one in particular that fully blows me away. See if you can guess which one it is. (Click on the image to link to Mark's site.) Ahh.. the grand illusion. We live it. It's a divine concoction, a gargantuan giggle just beyond grasp, an immense, epic narration that never lags or falters.
Spellbound! Even in my most lucid moments, I feel like the miniscule fleck I am when I try to comprehend the nature of existence. So why bother?, one may ask. And the answer is - a lot of the time I don't. But it is in my nature as an artist, philosopher and poet - to do so. The eternal quest for meaning, answers, validation. It's clear to see that it is a noble pursuit but one that will never end in any lasting resolution. Don Quixote springs to mind. Glorious madman of resounding sanity! And that's how it should be, damnit! An infinite mystery, that folds in on itself, over and over, forever. Again, so why bother? Because we can. Because we must. Because we like to. Perplexed by the complex puzzle we are addicted to mortal attempts to uncover clues that will get us closer to solving it. It's something to do. Something to enjoy. It makes you feel alive. And what is being alive if not deeply speculating on what it is to be alive? Excuse me, I think I will have some breakfast now. Philosophy so makes thee peckish. Lying in bed this morning I was contemplating past events and how along the way, stressful events and trauma spikes in the graph of daily existence can be collectively viewed to see the effect on life progression....
Some of mine came back to me: Age 2: Kept in bed during the day with wooly jumper under thick blankets by controlling grandmother. Spent hours staring up at patterns in pressed tin ceiling, imagining and mildly hallucinating. Age 9: Bitten by deadly funnel web spider while playing in dirt near the creek in Wahroonga. Told I could die at any time. Out of body experience. Survived because bite was on toe and it was a male arachnid. Age 11: Surgery in Tokyo hospital far from family domicile. Left on my own. First put in very young children's ward then moved to old and dying people's area. Very spooky. Given too much drugs because I seemed big as a foreigner; near overdose. Major hallucinations, cold sweats, out of body experiences, isolation. Ages 12 - 15: Repeated beatings by multiple school bullies. Often in groups of two or three, always older by at least a year. Age 19: In open top mini moke jeep coming out of KX tunnel. Complete brake failure. Pull on hand brake causing front tyre to come off. Come to a screeching halt with axle sparking against road on William street at bottom of hill. Extremely lucky not to be injured. Age 20: Decided to eat only raw nuts for one year. Weight dropped to 59kgs. Taken to psychiatrist. Diagnosed as anorexic. Age 26: Fed magic mushrooms in Bali without knowledge. Complete freak out in hotel room lasting 8 hours, then massive anxiety attack on flight home. Age 29: Wife has affair with Japanese Elvis impersonator while living in Tokyo after one year of marriage. Divorce. Phew! That's enough for now. May finish list later... My point is, that these kind of events, which we all experience in some form or other, are part of our formation and development. Over time, we subliminate/forget them but they remain as part of our psyche's textured, mottled terrain. This is not meant as a 'poor me' confessional. I consider myself lucky. Many people suffer a lot more and a lot worse. I just was thinking about it this morning and thought it would be interesting to look back and squeeze out a list of some early events that still resonate on some level. You know, blog as self therapy. It's trending. It's funny. Just thinking post post. Only an hour or so ago, I wrote my last post and after I write something, I sometimes consider it, mull over it in my head. What have I written? Why have I said it? As I have mentioned before, my M.O with this blog is quite simple and straightforward; to select an image I have created in the last 24 hours, post it - then write something. Whatever spontaneously comes to mind.
I am at times surprised, delighted, perplexed by what comes out. The guidelines are honesty, brevity, humour and creativity. Sometimes there is a message that appears. I do have a certain innate desire not to waste time - mine or anyone elses and also a kind of quality control. I want it to be worthwhile to read, to have some good. Oh, the other thing I should mention is that I also tend to keep things simple. Not ornate or convoluted. One day I hope to travel around schools and inspire school kids to get into art with an audio/visual presentation - and some of it will be based around these posts - so in the back of my mind I kind of am writing to a youngish audience. That being said - I definitely don't water things down or avoid adult topics if they come up. I guess, overall, I want the posts to be some kind of insight into an artist's mind. This artist in particular. So --- I was thinking about the last post. A little worried that it was a bit flat, obvious. But it's what came out, so I posted it anyway. Then, as I was thinking this, I got a 'like' on facebook. A single acknowledgement. Someone had read it and responded. It had meant something to them. I don't need to know what or why. I stopped being concerned. It had meant something to someone. That is enough. A connection. All I need. All any of us need. Ping. I used to play the guitar everyday when I was in my twenties and thirties. I wrote a few decent songs and even recorded a few. Was briefly in a band - playing bass - in Tokyo called KKR and we performed live at a Yamaha festival in Shibuya. I also played an original song, 'Dicky Doesn't Know the Difference' in from of 400 people at Van Gogh's Other Ear - a concert in the 90's. It was a great thrill. Adrenalin city.
I haven't played properly for but do plan to pick it up again soon (he says!). That is just how life goes - things fall away. As much as I loved singing and playing and making up songs, I knew I would never be great at it - my natural aptitude was limited and despite plenty of dedicated practice I hit a ceiling. From comparing myself to friends who were really good and had natural musical ability I knew my skills were limited. By comparison - I have never felt this with art or writing. I have felt it with sports and motorbike riding - proficient at both but knew I would never be a champion. It's good to know what you can and can't do and the limits of each skill. With the ones that you have natural ability for you find that 'sweet spot', you get into the zone, you are able to tap into a higher power of sorts and just allow yourself to be a conduit. Everyone has something. Find it and get there. Nothing like a natural high. It's the best. Some wisdom here, from Ira from NPR's 'This American Life'. What he says about the creative process and the initial gap between your vision and your ability is accurate and resonating.
I remember distinctly when I was in second and third year of art school - painting and drawing non-stop - thinking 'this is fine, I am loving it but these images have very little to do with what is really in my head...' and wondering, 'when will there be a synchronisation between where I am in my headspace and what is coming out in the images I am making. It took a long time. I would say, although, there were times when the two met, they were sporadic. Really, it has only been in the last few years that I can confidently state that the pictures I make are purely me - I don't have to strive for a style, struggle as much, be frustrated because I am not creating what I envision. What I see is what you get. Having said that, I am also a writer - and the struggle continues. Even though, I have spent countless hours honing my skills - much of the time - there is still a gap. I can write short pieces and be completely satisfied - they are pure me. But longer ones - a novel, say, or a screenplay - yet to be cracked. Time and effort is what it will take. The joy of course with doing something like this blog or my comics for example is that I can merge the two - images and writing. Makes it easier for both. They can work together, boost each other, help each other along. Anyway, one of the important things in the Ira's talk is that you should never give up in trying to diminish that gap. Deep down you know what it is you want to share and through devotion to your craft, perspicacity and passion - you will find a way to bring it to fruition. And is it worth it? All the time, sweat and sacrifice? Oh. Yes. So. Worth. It. Timeless, ethereal - we currently exist in 2013 but we also exist in many other times concurrently. In memory, in fantasy, in imagination, and etherealy -in past lives.
These 'modern' times seem to polarise - on one hand the reality is more demanding - an incredible amount of time and energy is needed just to make enough to stay ahead of the constant economic demands of daily living costs - food, shelter, transport, etc. On the other hand, escape is much more readily available and sophisticated. The net, of course, plus games, TV, and all the other media. What this does is constrict us as sentient beings. We don't have the time to follow our natural inclination to daydream. Of course - we still do it - but in a curtailed manner. The constant demands of reality and/or the calling of slick entertainment - 'prepackaged, corporate daydreaming' - are not allowing us to explore our psyches, our delicate subconscious levels as fully as we should/could. This results in a stunted growth in awareness/spirituality. Of course, it's not too bad - we are industrious beings. Despite these structural constraints we still manage to eke out enough fulfilling moments - through exercise time, interpersonal interactions, pre-sleep time, etc. But, I believe, we would be better served to have more time for consideration, contemplation and random extrapolation. You need to do a whole lot of daydreaming to come up with the really good ideas. To hit on important truths and essential, refined belief systems you've got to put in the time - and it can't be in front of a TV or the computer. Quiet time, mediation, doing something in the arts - these serenity pursuits are valuable and rewarding and should be acknowledged as the precious privilege that they are. Be the hero of your own consciousness, mount that wild horse and gallop into the unknown regions of your mind and spirit! ...or, in this case, meringue.
Why not? We are all going to die. Before the end, make sure you do some of the things that you really want to. Like my friend, Nick, did on his 50th - trekking up to Everest base camp with his best friends. Or even just trying a 'cronut' - donut/croissant hybrid. And all the rest in between...! Point is - time feels limitless but it is finite. Attempt to transcend your habitual concerns. I've just started reading a book called 'Wild' by Cheryl Strayed - a true story. She decides to go on a solo hike up the east coast of the US - 1,600km. That's an option. (Take plenty of cronuts.) What countries have you always wanted to see/visit but haven't got round to yet? Make a list. Then eat it. Followed by a cronut. Just finished this one. A lot of fun creating them.
View the full size version by clicking on it and going to the mind's I comics page on this site. There's freedom in wackiness. Art, theatre, writing, dance, music - all forms of release. We get to portray the selves within oursleves, the selves from beyond our selves - we reveal and release the spirits that possess magic and mayhem into reality so that they can have identities and become intergrated into our realities and be discovered, enjoyed and acquired by everyone.
Superheroes, legends of stage and screen, cartoon characters - all conjured up at one stage from an artist's crazy inspiration. And dance - what is it if not a glorious exorcism? Music bubbles in and from our subconscious. Literature offers complete new worlds to inhabit. Just think about how much of our lives are involved with these fantastic other worlds. We love to escape. We love to play and make believe. It unites us, liberates us. It is the delicious, tasty, nourishing sauce that covers the main meal of life. What is important, and to be encouraged, is our individual creations. Self discovery is boosted through expression in these forms. Don't just be an art consumer - make your own. Write your own truth. Dance and sing to the unique tunes that play inside your head. Let it out, let it all out. The more zany, joyous, cacaphonic self expression there is on the planet the better. Make art not war. Forget greed, do the jig. Write your truth. Let your fantasy flourish. When the unreal becomes real it's really unreal! I would like to share something here to do with my post creating methodology.
What I usually do is select one of the three or four images that I have created on the day and put it in place. I look at it for a few minutes, then begin writing. I don't labour over it or attempt to control things too much. I just let things flow. Much in the same way I create the images. Making stuff up. For the fun of it. I did this image at Starbucks on the corner of Park and Elizabeth. I very rarely go to a Bucks but I was getting my jaw scanned in the building opposite on the 6th floor to see if I am eligible for a dental implant. As I was a little early - even though it did take 25 mins of driving round and round to find a parking spot! - I went in to the cafe chain. Venti vanilla latte. Fuck it, I'm here, why not. The scan took less than a minute. Sorting out the bill took about 20 minutes. Ironic. The institution charges a service fee of $200 on top of the costs. I thought about this transaction. In the 21 minutes I was there, four or five scans occured. That's big dough. No creativity involved. No sharing of soul. No digging deep. No self expression. No searching for meaning. Just a technician, a machine, a receptionist, some files... and 20 grand a day coming in. Life would be so different if I was not an artist and I owned medical/dental imaging centre. I don't think I'd be writing a blog, for starters. So you wouldn't be reading this. Would you miss it? -- knowing that I was having sex on my boat? Anyway - not going to happen - not in this lifetime. We're stuck with each other. And, more to the point, ourselves. Do you like the picture of the guy climbing the eye thing in the red desert????? OMG. More in a week than I have made in my lifetime from my art! Breathe. Alien guy is watching what we are doing here on earth and he's pretty peeved.
He says: "It's such a beautiful planet - full of regal splendour - and you humans are focused on greed and self advancement over communion and enjoyment of nature! What's up with you?" "Get your act together and stop being so myopic and misogynist! Share the love around, be real, don't be conned by corrupt and evil corporate and political entities. Find your way through truth, selflessness, honour and commitment." "I may look grouchy but I'm actually not. I'm just a little pissed at what I see going on. We have powers unimaginable to you earthlings and I was going to pay a visit soon - but I tell you, I'm a little put off by the display. Please find a way to make things better. Love and respect each other for starters! Please. Thank you." |
ART GETS ME HIGHAuthor & ArtistLewie JPD Archives
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